


Stars In Our Eyes

by Giraffe23



Category: K-pop, iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boyfriends, Crack, Domestic, Drinking, Hangover, Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Polyamory, Sleepy Cuddles, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 21:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giraffe23/pseuds/Giraffe23
Summary: Jiwon had always thought they were perfect.Perfectly in love.Perfectly balanced.Perfectly matched.But maybe he had just been blinded by the stars in his lovers' eyes.Perfectly blind.





	Stars In Our Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MVforVictory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVforVictory/gifts).

> Happy day after national coming out day - if you are where I am :)  
This is late... Like VERY late. But I'm finally proud of it so I really hope you enjoy it all.  
It's a bit of a laugh and a bit of a cry - hopefully it's not just boring - and I don't know what I was thinking when I planned this.  
It's a gift for the one and only MVgetanAttitude who gave me the idea of a confession and pick up lines to add to my crackhead prompt.  
And lastly a big thank you to @m00dym00nie for beta reading and giving Hella good feedback.  
Please go show them both some love.  
If you do, by some miracle, enjoy this. Then please leave a kudo or comment. I love love LOVE to hear from you. And find me on twitter @Ryeowooksgiraff if you just wanna chat or fanboy. I'm down!  
Anyways, I hope you like it x

"Do you really think he'll like it?"

"What?" Jiwon grunted, his mouth full of too hot ramen, as he raised an eyebrow at Junhoe where the younger sat opposite him.

"You don't think it's too much?"

Jiwon tried to swallow around his food, and ignore the burn that made his eyes water, as he followed Junhoe's gaze down to the small bag sat in the spare chair at their table. The bag was simple, yet elegant, as tissue paper spilled over the top in effortless beauty; there was no question it was meant to be a gift for an important occasion.

Jiwon had spent almost the entire day with Junhoe, scouting the streets of Seoul to try and find the perfect gift for their third boyfriend. They had been close to giving up as the sun was beginning to set, nothing quite measuring up to the image both of them had in their heads no matter how many shops they visited, when they had found the strange little place tucked halfway down an alley.

At first, Junhoe had laughed at the logo - joking the poor rabbit looked like it had been stuffed into a gas mask - but they had inexplicably found themselves moving closer, as if drawn in by fate itself. It had only taken one step into the shop for Jiwon to be spellbound by the simple string bracelets delicately laid out over every surface in sight.

Not even ten minutes later they had left the shop, matching grins spread out on both of their faces and the stylish bag dangling from Junhoe's fingers.

"Don't be silly, it's perfect." Jiwon tutted and shoved another pile of noodles into his mouth.

"But I mean... Bin doesn't really like a fuss-"

"Just because he doesn't like to be fussed over, doesn't mean he shouldn't be." Jiwon interrupted Junhoe; poking his chopsticks across the table at his boyfriend. "It is a lot, but so is a three year anniversary. He'll love it."

"But you guys didn't celebrate when it was…" Junhoe mumbled, slumping down in his chair petulantly.

Jiwon sighed and pushed his bowl away, despite his rumbling stomach from the long and exhausting day. He could see how much the issue was worrying the younger man from the way he kept huffing and fidgeting in his chair; a frown marring his handsome face.

"Hey." Jiwon called out but Junhoe deliberately looked away; pretending not to hear in the busy restaurant.

Snorting at the childish behaviour, Jiwon paused for a moment to consider his options. He could lighten the mood and distract his boyfriend until they finished eating and got home so they could deal with it properly or he could do it while they had some time to themselves. Dealing with such an important issue in public wasn't high on Jiwon's to do list but he was also reluctant to let the issue drag on until they got home and, undoubtedly, Hanbin found out.

It wasn't that Jiwon didn't _ want _ Hanbin to find out, they were all in the relationship together after all, but the younger man had been under so much pressure from his job recently that Jiwon was loath to stress him out more. The whole point of the shopping trip, and the tricolour bracelet currently tucked into delicate wrapping between them, had been to surprise their hard working boyfriend for their anniversary.

Mind made up, Jiwon reached forward to dip his fingers into his water cup and flicked the water across the table and straight into Junhoe's face.

"_ Hey!_" Jiwon called out again; chuckling at the large flinch and the look of betrayal Junhoe sent his way.

"What'd you do that for?" Junhoe grumbled but at least he turned to face Jiwon.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you, dumbass."

Junhoe didn't reply but he did nod reluctantly after a few moments of thought and Jiwon felt his heart clench at how unsure Junhoe looked once the bravado was gone.

The youngest had fallen into step with their rhythm so easily that Jiwon sometimes forgot he hadn't been with them since the beginning. Despite how simple it felt, and how perfect they all were for each other, it was still difficult at times, even after so many years.

During the first few months after they formed their threesome, Junhoe had seemed so distant and reserved that Jiwon had nearly called and end - to it wanting to save both himself and Hanbin the heartache of losing someone once they were more attached. However, looking back, he could see how intimidated Junhoe must have been.

When the couple had first met Junhoe they had already been together for five years and had known each other for even longer. There was so much more shared between them, so much more experienced and lived and learned. Anyone coming into a situation like that was bound to feel left out and Jiwon was always blown away by how brave Junhoe had been. So young and naive yet still willing to try and fight to fit in with them; to stay.

What had started as a night of fun between students had quickly turned into all three falling fast and falling _ hard._ Jiwon would have never considered polyamory to be something he was capable of but Hanbin had opened his mind considerably during their time together and now he couldn't imagine being happy without both of his boyfriends by his side; he just wished there was a way to convince Junhoe of his equal importance once and for all.

"We didn't do anything for our anniversary because that's not the relationship we want to celebrate anymore. We have you and remembering a time before you would be silly when we are so much happier now."

"But _eight_ years, Hyung, that's so much more than-"

"You're not listening. It's not some competition or membership system where you get reward points for loyalty. We got together three years ago and, as far as I'm concerned, that's when my current - and only - relationship started."

Junhoe still looked doubtful but there was a new strength in his shoulders and he sat up straighter; a glimmer of hope and happiness growing in his eyes.

"You mean it?"

"Don't get sappy on me now, Ju-ne, but - yeah - I mean it. We didn't just add you to what was already there; we started all over again, with something new. With _you_."

"Don't call me sappy when you're spouting shit like _ that,_ Hyung." Junhoe wrinkled his face in faux discomfort before he laughed, loud and strong.

"Shut up." Jiwon grumbled, fighting a smile of his own, and kicking Junhoe beneath the table. "Eat your ramen and let's go home."

"_E__at your ramen and let's go home._" Junhoe mocked; making a constipated face and he wiggled his head from side to side to really taunt the older.

"Brat."

Junhoe stuck his tongue out in response but picked up his chopsticks and finally began to eat his food. Jiwon dragged his own bowl back in front of himself and hummed appreciatively as the tasty food filled his ravenous body, removing the last of his worries from his mind.

Once they had finished eating and thanked the host of the restaurant, they quickly made their way home, both eager to return to their warm apartment and a cuddly Hanbin. They walked happily down the street; bumping shoulders and shoving each other as they went and just enjoying the pleasant night.

As they moved further away from the bustling shopping streets, Jiwon let out a heavy breath and enjoyed the subdued hum of the nighttime city. The shadowed landscape and quiet atmosphere had always entranced Jiwon; reminding him of how insignificant he was outside the little bubble of his life. As the veins and arteries of the capital's sprawling streets slowed to the occasional passing taxi everything seemed to become surreal and inconsequential - as if Jiwon was no longer himself and he no longer had responsibilities to anyone or anything.

Tilting his head back a little, Jiwon looked up into the darkness and felt some of his profound feelings dissipate into the oppressive air. The city sky wasn't really black anymore, countless lives and lighted windows turning it a murky grey, and no immortal poets’ stars looked back at him from its depths. It seemed to shatter the illusion in his mind just as Junhoe stumbled and cursed by his side, Jiwon only just reaching out in time to catch the other.

"Careful." Jiwon muttered, his voice raspy and dry; as if he had been asleep for a long time and his muffled brain was still trying to catch up.

"You be careful." Junhoe shot back, his fingers still tangled into Jiwon's sleeve. "I tripped over your damn feet. What were you looking at?"

Jiwon followed Junhoe's gaze once again as the younger craned his neck back and took in the artificial dullness of the space above them sadly. There really was nothing to see in the overcast colours; no celestial beauty ready for two lovers to behold no matter how much Jiwon glared. Scanning the sky anyway, Jiwon found his mind drifting to a long forgotten memory and he snapped his attention back down to Junhoe's face.

Back when they were in school Hanbin had churned out song after song and Jiwon had dutifully listened to all of them - sitting in a boiling practise room with his chin resting on his fists every afternoon. At the time he had been lost in Hanbin's passion and not really understood, or stopped to consider, the depth of meaning in the lyrics but he had always known Hanbin had a gift. Looking back now, as he stood with Junhoe in a back alley, Jiwon finally understood the meaning of Hanbin's lilting words and melodic piano tunes.

_ Feels like all the stars in the world are in your eyes _

_ My love, take my hand _

Junhoe was still frowning up at the darkness but he looked so open and unguarded that Jiwon's breath was forced from his lungs in a breathy laugh. Despite there being no real stars, Junhoe’s eyes seemed to hold a constellation of glittering points in their wondrous depths. Without pausing for thought, Jiwon reached out and tangled his fingers with Junhoe’s; making the younger jump at the sudden contact.

"Hyung?" Junhoe questioned gently, his voice seeming to come from far away, as his eyes met Jiwon's in the dim street light. “Did you see something up-?”

Jiwon didn’t give Junhoe time to finish as he stepped forward and, gathering Junhoe’s face in his chilly hands, pressed their lips together. Junhoe hummed into the kiss before tilting his head and pushing back against Jiwon’s movements; his hands coming to rest on Jiwon’s waist and arm - the touches becoming points of blinding heat as Jiwon’s mind narrowed to just their shared breaths.

When Jiwon pulled away, Junhoe chased after his lips to place one last lingering kiss on them; tugging Jiwon in against his body before letting go completely. Panting slightly, Jiwon’s mouth quirked up into a smile as his gaze flicked between Junhoe’s shiny lips and his hooded eyes.

“What was- what?” Junhoe mumbled, his tongue coming out to drag along his full bottom lip.

“Nothing.” Jiwon chuckled. “I just felt like it.”

“_Idiot_.”

Jiwon felt a childish giggle bubbling up as he watched his boyfriend blush and fidget in front of him but, when Junhoe grinned back at him, he couldn’t stop the laugh escaping. Junhoe shook his head and punched Jiwon on the shoulder but the smile remained plastered on his face. Jiwon felt giddy as he slipped his hand into Junhoe’s and he squeezed before turning on his heel to drag the younger man home.

They continued joking and being far too loud for the time of night it was all the way down the street and up the staircase to their apartment. Jiwon unlocked the door; trying to hush Junhoe’s near hysterical giggles but failing to keep his own snorts suppressed as they finally arrived home.

“Bin-a?" Jiwon called out into the still hallway as he toed off his shoes.

“Wait, what about the bag?” Junhoe whispered urgently; waving the gift under Jiwon’s nose.

“_ Shit. _ ummm…”

Turning around in aimless circles, Jiwon tried desperately to think of a place to hide it but came up empty. Most of the cupboards or shelves in the entryway were stuffed with three people's sets of clothes or were too obvious, even for a tired Hanbin, not to notice in an instant.

"Wait, I know." Junhoe exclaimed; muscling his way between jackets hanging in the stuffed coat wardrobe. "Cover for me if Hanbin comes."

Jiwon nodded and casually resumed taking off his outside clothes while keeping an alert ear out for their third boyfriend. However, by the time Jiwon had stuffed on his slippers and Junhoe had tripped out of the cupboard, Hanbin had still not appeared in the hallway or replied to his call.

"Are you sure he's home?"

"Yeah, it was his day off today." Jiwon frowned and pulled out his phone. "Plus, I've been messaging him all day and he said he was home."

"Has he said anything new while we were walking? A last minute call into the studio?"

"No… I don't think-" Jiwon trailed off; shifting over so Junhoe could see the screen of his phone over one shoulder. "Oh…"

"What?"

"He saw my messages but he didn't reply. He hasn't replied since around 3 pm, not even to the photo we took with the snoopy statue."

"It's nearly 10.30 pm now, Hyung." Junhoe checked his watch before turning back to Jiwon in concern. "You don't think something happened, do you?"

"Nah." Jiwon ruffled Junhoe's hair as he shuffled past on his way to their shared bedroom. "He probably just fell asleep. You know how exhausted he's been with the most recent project. I wouldn't be surprised if we found him- holy _ fuck _."

Jiwon reeled back as a sour wall of booze collided with his face through the opened door to the bedroom. The smell of unexpected alcohol alone made his brain freeze as it tried to catch up but the pure strength of the scent - so strong Jiwon could feel the bitterness coating his tongue - was nearly enough to make Jiwon choke.

"What on earth is _ that _?" Junhoe grimaced; making no attempt to hide his disgust for the poisonous cloud seeping out into the hallway

Jiwon shook his head in confusion and a futile attempt to clear the alcoholic fog from his mind. Stepping forward, Jiwon's foot hit a discarded bottle lying on the floor; it fell with a clink and rolled across the ground until it was stopped by a pile of yet more bottles. The rest of the room was equally as cluttered and seemed to have a thin film of blurriness covering everything.

"Bin-a?" Jiwon called out more cautiously this time; taking shuffling steps into the room. "Hanbin-a? You in here?"

An inhuman groan sounded from the large bed and Jiwon picked his way towards it, aware of Junhoe following close behind him. Every step they took seemed to send more bottles rattling across the floor - Jiwon knew that was an exaggeration but the shock of seeing his usually sober boyfriend in such a state made his mind spin.

"Hanbin?" Jiwon tried again and this time got movement from the messy tangle of sheets, blankets and pillows.

"Go 'way." A petulant and wobbly voice rose from the nest on the bed and Jiwon tilted his head as he tried to find Hanbin under the linen but the array of different _ things _ on the bed completely obscured him from view.

"Hanbin Hyung? Is something wrong?" Junhoe passed behind Jiwon to round the other side of the bed, looking just as confused.

At the sound of the youngest's voice a fluffy brown head suddenly popped up from a mound of pillows and blurry, barely open eyes turned in Junhoe's direction.

"You're back! My Ju-ne is back~" Hanbin cried happily and moved to sit up but collapsed back into the covers in a fit of giggles.

"Yeah, Jiwon and I just got back." Junhoe nodded indulgently before raising an eyebrow at Jiwon, who shrugged.

"Hi."

"Hi, Bin."

"'_Hi, Bin'_." Hanbin mimicked Junhoe's voice, he usual nasalliness becoming strained in the effort to push it down an octave. "That's me, I'm Bin."

"Yes, you are."

"Hi."

"Hi, there." Junhoe was full on laughing as they continued to trade the circular greetings.

Hanbin giggled again and wiggled deeper into his pillow mountain. Junhoe's face lit up as he watched the adorable movements and wiggled his fingers in a wave when Hanbin caught his eyes and shyly did the same. The coy waving and slurred greetings lasted for a few moments more before Hanbin seemed to lose focus and started petting the fluffy blanket interwoven with his legs.

Jiwon watched with amusement and felt his heart ache at the sight of his two boyfriends messing around. It was good they could let loose and be childish together in a way that Jiwon couldn't give them; it was why they all worked so well, each bringing something different to the relationship.

It had always been that way; as long as Jiwon could remember. Hanbin had kept Jiwon youthful and energetic while he, himself, had taken on the Hyung role and protected Hanbin, bringing emotion and confidence into their relationship.

Hanbin had skipped a year in school and ended up in Jiwon's class and, despite his intelligence, the younger had always had a habit of getting into mischief. At first, Jiwon had been in awe - seeing the younger student ace all their classes - but he had soon seen beneath the polished exterior.

As he had grown closer to Hanbin, they had discovered so many things and tested so many limits together it was impossible to think of a time without the other. At the time it had felt like fate; so much bigger than a couple of teenagers could ever hope to understand. Jiwon didn't think he would ever really understand the full depth of what he shared with the other man.

When Junhoe came joined them, a few years later at university, he had been loud and boisterous but fiercely loyal. The first year had been drawn like a magnet to Hanbin in much the same way Jiwon had been, awed and almost pious in the way he regarded the elder.

However, even when everything had shattered and fallen apart during Hanbin's final year exams, Junhoe had stayed. Not only had Junhoe stayed, it was clear he had fallen even further for Hanbin as himself instead of the mask that had mostly been in place before.

Junhoe had stayed and Jiwon had realised how important both of them were to him all over again. Everything had just worked out perfectly from there.

When Junhoe finally peeled his gaze away from the other man and turned to face Jiwon with a dopey smile, it only served to make Jiwon's heart swell even more at the love he saw there.

On the bed, Hanbin hummed low in his throat and then began to tug at the blanket - presumably trying to cover himself with it - but only succeeded in bending his legs at weird angles; making himself tip over again. Junhoe tried to hide his snort behind a hand but Jiwon couldn't help but frown at the drunk man.

The enormity of the situation wormed its way into his mind as he surveyed the room. Several bottles lined the bedside table and a few were dotted around on the floor. Hanbin really didn't drink that much and when he did it was never to such an excess.

As if sensing the change of Jiwon's thoughts, Junhoe returned to stand next to him; patting him on the shoulder in solidarity.

"What should we do, Hyung?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Do you think he just… felt like it?" Junhoe asked hopefully but the lack of conviction in his voice seemed to answer his own question. "But what could it be? If something _ is _ wrong, I mean? I've never seen him like this."

"I don't know."

Jiwon felt useless as he stood with Junhoe; watching Hanbin rolling around on the bed and babbling harmlessly to himself. Hanbin seemed happy enough but he was so out of control it was hard to tell what was really happening underneath all the alcohol in his blood.

"Ju-ne~" Hanbin called from the bed, finally giving up on his attempt to get settled.

"Yes, Bin?"

"Come and give me kisses."

"In a minute, Hanbin Hyung, Jiwon and I just need to-"

"But I'm horny." Hanbin whined and, as if to prove his point, let a hand trail down his body to press against his crotch as he slowly rolled his hips.

Junhoe swallowed audibly and he turned back to Jiwon, but Jiwon felt just as lost at the situation. The sight on the bed, at any other time, would have been a culmination of Jiwon's fantasies but Hanbin's slow and jerky movements made a lump of greasy sickness grow in Jiwon's stomach.

"Bin-a, do you-?" Jiwon desperately tried to think of something to say to get back in control of the situation.

"Want Ju-ne." Hanbin interrupted petulantly. "Don't feel so good."

Junhoe almost leapt around the bed in his haste to reach Hanbin; placing the back of his hand against Hanbin's red forehead. After a few moments, Junhoe turned back to Jiwon with a baffled look.

"He feels a bit hot but we just go back from outside. Do you need me to do anything, Hyung? I can run to the store for something."

"Hold on for just a moment; let me try and get him talking some sense."

Junhoe nodded and stepped back a little; crossing his arms tightly as he anxiously watched Jiwon approach the bed.

Hanbin had moved around some more while they were deliberating and he was spread out on his stomach, arms and legs out to the side like a starfish. Jiwon didn't want to accidentally sit on a hidden limb and hurt the other so he reached out a hand to pat the bed before moving closer.

"Hey, Bin-a, make some room for Hyung."

Hanbin's body visibly tensed up at Jiwon's words and he slowly turned his head to the side; lifting it slightly to level a steely, if unfocused, glare at Jiwon across the sheets.

"No."

"What? Bin, its-"

"No. Not you." Hanbin shifted on the bed, moving further away from Jiwon. "Want Ju-ne. Want Ju-ne kisses."

"Junhoe is here, Bin." Jiwon said patiently, trying to keep the lump of rejection out of his voice. "I just wanted to talk to you for a moment."

"Nope." Hanbin declared, shaking his head vigorously. "Want Junhoe. Not you."

"Hanbin-a." Junhoe tried to sooth the situation. "Jiwon Hyung is trying to-"

"Ju-ne!" Hanbin yelled and flipped over to try and find the other man in the room; nearly falling off the bed in the process. "Make him go away."

"I'm not leaving, Bin-a." Jiwon shared a look with Junhoe and hated the pity he saw in the youngers eyes. Hanbin had never rejected one of them before - even in jest - and it felt awful.

"Not leaving?"

"No, Bin, I just want to help."

"If you won't leave. Then I must leave." Hanbin muttered darkly to himself.

"Hanbin, wait-"

Before Junhoe could get around the side of the bed to stop Hanbin's movement the other man had swan dived over the edge. Luckily, the heavy duvet was tangled around Hanbin's waist and had halted his fall so he was hanging upside down and half way off the mattress.

There was a moment of absolute stillness as all of them, drunk and not, tried to understand what had just happened. Jiwon stood in shock, one knee resting on the bed from where he had been climbing in, his mouth slack and open.

Hanbin seemed to be the first to recover as he let out a little laugh and started wiggling out of the knot of covers; slowly slipping off the bed more and more. He began singing to himself as he moved and Jiwon was about to give up trying to understand the nonsense when he recognised the tune.

"_Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim." _

Hanbin was drunk and singing a song from a children's movie.

In _ English _.

Jiwon couldn't even find it in himself to be surprised at the turn of events their evening had taken. Of course this is what would be happening. Why wouldn't it be?

The laugh that escaped his lips was too high and breathy to be anything but bordering on hysterical and Jiwon let his face fall into his hands as he lost control of his body for a few moments.

"Hyung?"

"What, Junhoe?" Jiwon asked, still hiding his face and trying to reduce the absurd confusion taking over his mind.

"Should we- I mean… should I-?"

Jiwon looked over at Hanbin just as he managed to free himself and tumble to the floor with a dull thud and a snort of laughter. It was so stupid. Unbelievably stupid. And it was happening.

"Yeah, help him onto the bed. I'll go and get some water for him to drink. You want something?"

"I'm good."

Jiwon watched as Junhoe edged his way round the bed. The pause as the youngest tried to comprehend the sight of Hanbin splattered on the floor was too much for Jiwon's nerves and he laughed again before hauling himself to his feet.

Junhoe bent down and Hanbin seemed to immediately latch on; wrapping is legs and arms around every available part of Junhoe's body. An elbow in the eye and a head knocking into a chin later; Junhoe had Hanbin cradled in his arms as they faced Jiwon across the room.

Hanbin seemed to be on top of the world as he stared up at Junhoe and then around the room with a toothy grin. Jiwon shook his head at the two of them and began to head into the kitchen. Just as he passed the threshold of the door, Jiwon heard Hanbin attempt to whisper to Junhoe.

"Ju-ne, Ju-ne, Ju-ne. I've got something to tell you."

"What's that?" Junhoe questioned softly, settling back onto the mattress with Hanbin still wrapped in his arms.

"_ He touched the butt _."

Jiwon slammed the door shut on Junhoe's snigger and leaned back against the wood. Letting out a harrowing breath, Jiwon shook his head to himself and pushed off to walk down the hallway.

He couldn't dwell on it. Hanbin was just drunk and probably acting out on some imagined problem or insult. It was nothing personal.

Jiwon paused and blew out a deep breath. _ But what if it was? _ Hanbin had a habit of bottling things up and then exploding when it got too much. Both Junhoe and himself had dealt with Hanbin's meltdowns before but this felt different and he couldn't quite shake the worry that something was wrong.

Stepping into the kitchen, Jiwon leaned his hands on the counter and hung his head to think; slowly rocking his weight from hand to hand and letting his head swing listlessly.

Hanbin had seemed fine all day, both Jiwon and Junhoe had been messaging the other and sending constant updates about their activities. Opening the chat, Jiwon scrolled through the messages and reread the day's conversations but everything seemed normal right up until Hanbin stopped replying.

Sighing, Jiwon chucked his phone onto the counter and headed for the kettle. He set it off to boil while he grabbed a glass and filled it, first, with ice and then cold water. With the amount of bottles littering their room, Hanbin was bound to feel it in the morning even if they cut him off and force fed him liquid for the rest of the night.

Tapping his fingers against the counter and staring off into space, Jiwon lost track of time as he waited for the kettle to finish. When he finally snapped back to attention the kettle had finished and even the residual roar of the bubbles had stopped. Blinking to himself as he regained his bearings, Jiwon reached for the mugs in the cupboard.

A sudden groan from the doorway made Jiwon jump and spin around to see Junhoe. The youngest was shirtless and wiping at his bare skin with a disgusted frown on his face; lips curled up at the edges as he inspected himself.

"What are… what are you doing?"

"Hanbin was sick." Junhoe grumbled and shuddered as he found something gross on his skin and wiped at it. "I moved him to the spare room once he finished up but I still need to clean up the master bedroom. Could you go sit with him, just in case?"

"Of course." Jiwon replied hollowly. "Do you need any help?"

"Honestly, Hyung, it’s fucking gross." Junhoe huffed and moved to rub at his forehead but stopped himself just in time; glaring at his fingers. "I'd rather you did it all, but I'm already covered in- yeah… and I want to shower."

"Yeah, okay. You go do that and I'll check on him."

"Wait, Hyung…"

"What?"

"Hanbin, he… he was asking for you but- it's not…"

"I got it, Junhoe." Jiwon flapped his hand at his boyfriend and leaned over the counter to grab the half melted glass of icy water. "You go clean yourself up and I'll go sit with Bin."

"Good luck." Junhoe called down the hallway after Jiwon as he made his way to the apartment's spare room. "He's definitely bounced back from it now."

As he neared the door, Junhoe's words began to make sense. There was loud and bass heavy music, that Jiwon had assumed was coming from another apartment, blasting through the room. Jiwon sighed, their neighbors were definitely going to have some noise complaints tomorrow.

Pushing the door open with his shoulder, as he balanced the glass in his hand, Jiwon wasn't quite sure what to expect but Hanbin, partly undressed and dancing on the messy bed, wasn't it. His boyfriend was waving his arms around wildly and yelling along to the song lyrics at the top of his lungs.

Jiwon hurried over to turn off the music; mentally apologising to the older couple above them and the young parents that shared the wall with them. However, the lack of a backing track didn't seem to deter Hanbin as he continued to flounce around on the bed and mumbled through the words. Jiwon found he could only watch in astonishment as Hanbin manically danced around until he exhausted himself and collapsed onto the sheets.

Once a stillness had blanketed the room, Jiwon peeled himself away from the wall and padded over to the bed. Setting the cold water down on the table, Jiwon perched next to Hanbin's sweaty body and just watched him breathing. His skin glistened in the dim lighting of the room and Jiwon frowned at how pale the other still was as his long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks. After a few moments, Jiwon pressed a hand against the younger's forehead and smiled fondly at the quiet moan Hanbin released.

"'s nice." Hanbin mumbled and angled his head to make Jiwon's hand slide up into his hair. Jiwon chuckled and began to gently run his fingers over Hanbin's scalp.

"Do you still feel sick, Binnie?"

Hanbin hummed and his eyes opened to slits but they were so unfocused Jiwon doubted Hanbin really saw anything. The slow blinking hypnotised Jiwon as he watched the glazed brown disappear and reappear at irregular intervals. Once they had closed and stayed closed for a long while, Jiwon shifted to try and get Hanbin's legs under the sheets but a hand came up to stop him.

"Don' go…"

"I'm not going anywhere, baby." Jiwon reassured Hanbin; reaching down to hold the clammy hand in both of his.

"You were."

"I promise, I'm not going to leave."

Hanbin was silent for a few moments before he hummed deeply again. Jiwon watched Hanbin cautiously and berated himself for trying to find meaning in a drunk man's ramblings. Just as he was sure Hanbin had actually fallen asleep, the other let his head flop dramatically to the side with a moan; his eyes still glued shut with liquor induced heaviness.

"I don't want to be... alone."

The whisper was so fragile and defenceless as it hung in the air that Jiwon felt all the breath rush from his lungs in a surge of anguish.

"You're not alone, Bin-a. I'm here."

"But you'll leave me. Everyone does. Everyone… goes."

"What are you talking about Bin? I haven't gone anywhere and neither will-."

"You will… eventually."

"I promise you I won't. Why would you think that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Hanbin tugged his hand away from Jiwon's grip and covered his face with them both; grinding the heels of each hand into his eyes ruthlessly. "Jiwon doesn't love me anymore. He only wants…wants to be with… with you. You fit."

Jiwon felt confusion and dread wash over him waves; slowly getting closer and closer together until he was drowning under the others words. They rang in his ears and he mindlessly reached for the other to pull Hanbin into a tight hug. The younger man flopped against Jiwon's shoulder and sat passively as he was held up but Jiwon didn't care as clutched Hanbin against him.

"That's not true. Of course I still love you, I love you more than I can explain."

"You think that now but I understand. You and Jiwon… you're so similar; I'm the… the odd one out. Why would you both stay with a whiney… waste of space like me?"

"You're not a waste of space." Jiwon grit his teeth the try and hold back the anger. It hurt to hear one of his most precious people talking about themselves, and their relationship, in such a way.

"I am. Only want me… for sex."

"No, Bin, listen to me, that's not-"

"True?" The floaty and monotonous voice that Hanbin had been suck in suddenly shattered as he pushed Jiwon away and flopped back onto the bed; his chest heaving from the shout. "Of course it's… it's true. H-how could it… it not be? Huh?"

"Bin, I don't-"

"Don't lie to me. _ Please _." Hanbin struggled to try and sit but by his limbs refused to cooperate as he was stuck down on the bed again, tears beginning to create jagged lines down his cheeks.

"I'm not, baby, I'm not."

"He. _ Left _!" Hanbin screamed and broke down into a coughing fit as his crying body and drunken mind betrayed each other.

Jiwon could only sit there and watch, his arms still warm and raised where they had been around Hanbin moments ago. He glanced fleetingly at the door to see if Junhoe had heard the commotion and come to help but he secretly hoped the younger was still oblivious - he didn't want Junhoe to see this if he didn't have to.

"He left." Hanbin's broken murmur snapped Jiwon's attention back down to his boyfriend and he had to force himself not to reach out to him, balling his hands into fists by his side, to avoid causing more distress.

"He left." Hanbin repeated again, emptily. "It was m-my only day off in… in… in _ months _ and he- he went out with _ you_. I woke up _ alone_. In _ our _ house but ** _all_ ** _ alone..._ alone."

Jiwon's mouth fell open at Hanbin's words and he sat frozen as he watched the other man shake from his sobs on the bed beside him. Watching him tugged and mangled Jiwon's heart as much as Hanbin's trashing had tangled the sheets around them. A single tear sliding off of Jiwon's chin, and causing him to shiver, finally startled him back into action.

Leaping forward, Jiwon gathered Hanbin back into his arms and leaned back against the headrest; slowly rocking the shivering bundled resting against his chest.

"Bin, please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Jiwon whispered into Hanbin's hair as they sat together.

"All we have time for is… is sex." Hanbin whined. "That's all- all he wants from me; I want m-more but if that's… that's all he'll give- I can't lose him. Maybe if… maybe…"

Hanbin suddenly turned in Jiwon's arms and peered up at him but his eyes were still rolling and unseeing in his head. Jiwon held his breath as Hanbin propped himself up to press their bodies together from top to toe.

"I won't lose him. No matter… no matter what." Hanbin mumbled as his head dropped down onto Jiwon's collar bone. "I can't…"

"You won't lose me, Bin-a, I'm not-"

"I won't if you let me- please, let me-"

"Let you what, Bin?" Jiwon tried to piece together the fragmented words.

"Please, Ju-ne, let me do this- let me get him back. He'll come back for… for sex."

Jiwon swallowed and he reached out to try and hold Hanbin back by his shoulders but stopped just short of touching his skin. How could he reject him when Hanbin already thought he was superfluous? Even if Hanbin didn't realise who he was talking to, Jiwon found he didn't have the strength to stop his boyfriend climbing up to straddle him.

Hanbin wobbled enormously as he rose up onto his knees and then sat down heavily in Jiwon's lap; their cheeks grazed each other and Hanbin's breath ghosted over Jiwon's ear.

"I can sed- seduce you if I need to, June."

Jiwon felt ashamed as he stayed stiff and unresponsive, he should stop it and bundle Hanbin up in his arms until he was sober and knew just how loved he truly was. That's what he _ should _ do, but he couldn't.

"Bin…"

"I can… can talk dirty to you." Hanbin slurred and turned his head so his lips dragged over Jiwon's sensitive ear with every word. "If- if you're a storm, I'm ready… ready to get… wet… wait-"

Hanbin pulled back and shook his head, the movement sending his whole upper half swinging wildly back and forth in his unbalanced state. Once he had regained his thoughts, or what remained of them in his befuddled mind, Hanbin leaned back in.

"We don't need… need _ that_, do we? We can just get to the... to the good stuff."

Up close, Jiwon was almost repulsed by the strength of alcohol on Hanbin's breath, tears and snot mixing on his face from the drunken outbursts adding to the mess, but Hanbin was still beautiful as he drew closer. Jiwon found himself staring and tracing his gaze along the high cheek bones and soft dimples and full lips; his heart aching with how much he felt for the other man.

Hanbin's hands came up to clumsily rest on Jiwon's face; pulling him closer. Jiwon watched it all as if he was seeing the kiss happen to someone else. The stale bitterness coating Hanbin's tongue barely registering in his mind above the screaming of how _ wrong _ it all was.

Hanbin wasn't really kissing him. He was kissing a person who he _ thought _ was Junhoe because he believed Jiwon didn't love him anymore. The tangle of thoughts and emotions pounding against his skull turned Jiwon's muscles to stone as he just sat there. 

It made him feel _ sick._

The sloppy push and pull against his mouth began to grow more insistent before finally stopping and dropping away. Hanbin's head sunk down, his hair brushing Jiwon's chin as he drooped down, and shrunk in on himself; becoming so small in Jiwon's arms.

"I'm sorry." The rusty apology echoed around Jiwon's ears despite how quiet the sound that actually left Hanbin's lips was.

"No, don't be sorry, Bin-a. You're okay; I've got you. Don't be sorry." Jiwon rushed to reassure Hanbin, tugging him closer and blinking up at the ceiling to fight his watering eyes.

"I shouldn't have… I'm sorry."

"You're okay. You just had too much to drink. Everything's alright."

"I didn't... mean to…"

"That's alright, Bin. Everything's fine now; I've got you. I've got you."

Hanbin sniffled as he sat burrowed into Jiwon's chest; fingers digging into the material of Jiwon's clothes and twisting it occasionally. They sat together in silence for a long time and Jiwon just breathed in the scent of Hanbin's shampoo that still clung to his hair.

Jiwon once again found his eyes drawn to the door and the chance of seeing a familiar figure waiting there. He instinctively wanted to curl up with Hanbin and hide both of them away from the world and everyone in it, just like he had done for so long when it really had been just a two man army, but he didn't have to anymore. They had Junhoe and good friends that would jump at the chance to help.

Looking down at the lump in his arms, Jiwon wondered if his attempts to protect and cocoon Hanbin away from stress had left him feeling excluded instead of safe. In the space of one afternoon both of his boyfriends had questioned their place in their relationship and it didn't sit right in Jiwon's mind. They would all have to talk about this, _ together _.

As his pondered this, Hanbin shifted in his arms and slid sideways onto the mattress so he could curl up with his head in Jiwon's lap. Reaching down, as he had done so countless times before, Jiwon began treading his fingers through the unruly hair.

"I'm sorry." Hanbin spoke again and Jiwon was about to retort back when his boyfriend continued. "I know you both... love me, it's just that... that sometimes I feel left out. You're both so similar and... happy together. I don't want to be alone."

"I'm sorry too, for making you feel that way."

"_I look at you, and I... and I'm home. Please... I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget. _"

Jiwon was startled for a minute and a surprised, watery laugh broke through his tears despite how poignant the moment was.

"Again with the Finding Nemo, huh? When did you even see that movie and why wasn't I included?"

Hanbin simply hummed and attempted a shrug in response.

"I mean it. I want to be with you…, both of you, forever. I want it- I want it so much it h-hurts... sometimes. I love you."

"Oh Bin." Jiwon let his head fall back against the headboard as the small quiver of emotion in Hanbin's words tore his heart out from his chest. "I love you too. So very, very much. Forever and always."

"Yeah…" Hanbin hummed happily, sleep finally weaving its way into his body. "Forever and… and always…"

It felt like a dream to Jiwon as he sat, carding his fingers through strands of sweaty hair and rubbing circles into Hanbin's scalp, and when he came back into awareness it felt even more like one. Sitting up and looking around, Jiwon rubbed the grit from his eyes to take in the dark room.

All the lights had been turned off and someone had shifted Jiwon in his sleep so he was tucked under the covers and resting on a pillow. It all felt surreal and Jiwon reached out across the mattress to try and find Hanbin, to reassure himself at least something was real, but only came across a vacated warm patch next to him.

Jerking up in a panic, Jiwon whirled his head around to try and find the other in the shadowed space. The sight of the open bedroom door and a slanting light bathing the hallway in a ghostly glow drew his attention and Jiwon disentangled himself from the covers. Once in the corridor, Jiwon saw that the light was coming from the bathroom and he headed over.

The brightness made him wince as he stepped through onto the freezing tiles. Battling through the pain in his eyes, Jiwon could just about make out two figures hunched over the toilet as one was racked with guttural wrenches.

"Junhoe? Hanbin?" Jiwon croaked, his eyes falling shut of their own accord to try and fight off the spiky glare of the light.

"It's okay, Hyung, I've got this. Just go back to bed and we'll join you in a bit."

As if in a daze, Jiwon just nodded and wheeled around to head back the way he had come. Climbing back under the sheets and lying down, his head and body spinning as he stared into the semi black ceiling above.

He tried to imagine stars and galaxies swirling in front of him but all his mind was capable of was replaying such simple and painful words.

_ 'Forever and always._'

They floated cross his mind over and over and _over_ again. Taking on a new tone; a new meaning every time they were uttered. The wistful longing of the original speaker getting swallowed by an angry and accusing shout. A broken promise.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Jiwon jumped at the gentle voice and cold feet that suddenly pressed against his shin; breaking him out of his daze.

"Just thinking."

"Well that can wait until tomorrow. Right now is time for sleeping."

Jiwon paused and listened carefully to the rustles as Junhoe maneuvered himself and Hanbin on the bed, tucking their drunken boyfriend in between them so he could curl up into Jiwon's side. When the room fell silent, Jiwon could still hear the burning gaze and unending curiosity of the youngest settled on his shadowed face.

"Junhoe?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah, of course Hyung." Junhoe replied without hesitation. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wanted to make sure you knew." Jiwon admitted quietly and his shifted onto his side to intertwine his fingers with Junhoe's; playing with them absentmindedly in the dimness.

"I know, Hyung. You show me everyday; with the little things."

Jiwon started to puzzle over what Junhoe had meant but found himself slipping back into the warm arms of sleep despite how hard he tried to stay awake.

The rest of the night passed much the same way. Jiwon occasionally being woken up by Hanbin springing up from the bed and rushing away or the drunken mumbles and laughing as Junhoe tried to herd him back into bed again. It was exhausting and, by the time the morning sun was seeping around the corners of the blinds, Jiwon was so groggy he could barely move.

Letting his head roll gently to the side, Jiwon grimaced as he caught sight of Junhoe on the pillow next to him. Even still asleep the younger man looked drained, large dark circles sunken under his eyes and a slight frown of worry settled on his forehead.

Jiwon reached out a hand to smooth his thumb along the lines there and then let the touch trail down onto his boyfriend's cheek; just letting his fingers sit there and enjoy the simple contact. A groan from behind Junhoe revealed the position of the bed's last occupant.

Jiwon peered around Junhoe's broad shoulders to catch sight of Hanbin, where he was plastered against Junhoe's back. If Jiwon had thought Junhoe looked bad, then Hanbin looked like he had risen from the dead - it certainly smelled like he had.

As they had slowly all woken up, Jiwon moved them into the living room and got Hanbin settled on the sofa with a sick bowl and Junhoe to fuss over him as he made them all breakfast. Carrying the steaming tray of food back into the lounge, Jiwon smiled at the pair.

Hanbin had somehow wrangled Junhoe into giving him a foot rub as he sat lengthways on the sofa and draped his legs over the younger's lap.

"Come on, Bin-a, let Ju-ne up so we can eat."

"No." Hanbin whined and sat up on his knees; locking his arms around Junhoe's neck to hold him tightly. _ "I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy _."

"Come on, Bin." Jiwon chuckled as he set the tray down.

"Fine." Hanbin replied sulkily as he peeled himself off of Junhoe and walked across the room. "I'm going to go wash my hands. Don't bother to wait for me."

Jiwon laughed again and shared a look with Junhoe, who looked exhausted but happy, and noticed the twinkle in his eyes.

"Have you ever been that drunk before?"

"What?" Junhoe asked around a face splitting yawn.

"Have you ever been so drunk you started quoting Finding Nemo?"

"How could I quote from a film I've never seen before?" Junhoe yawned again and rubbed at his eyes weary and he moved to grab a plate full of food. "Unless…"

Jiwon stared at his boyfriend in complete befuddlement; blinking slowly as he tried to comprehend how stupid, or tired, the other man was being.

"Are you… are you being serious right now?"

"Of course I am. What if I'm actually really talented at screenwriting and I came up with it completely by coincidence?"

Before Jiwon could reply, Hanbin re-entered the room; wiping his wet hands on his pajama bottoms.

"Are you hearing this, Bin-a?"

"Hearing what?"

"I was just telling Hyung about my new found talent as a movie script writer." Junhoe cut in, teasing smirk firmly fixed on his face. "He's destroying my dreams."

"Don't be a bully, Hyung." Hanbin pretended to scold Jiwon as he squeezed back onto the sofa next to Junhoe and picked up his own plate.

"I can't believe this!" Jiwon muttered to himself in frustration. "He didn't even drink last night. Why on earth would you think I was talking about you, Junhoe, when we are literally nursing our boyfriend, who was _ very _ drunk last night, through the hangover of the century right now?"

"How could I forget?" Junhoe grumbled. "I had barf in places barf should never-."

"Guys, can you please shut up? I think I'm going to be sick."

Hanbin suddenly shoved his plate aside and fled the room, Jiwon and Junhoe hot on his heels. They both hovered anxiously but the door as Hanbin coughed into the toilet bowl. When, after a few minutes, nothing came up Hanbin sat back against the wall and wiped at his sweaty forehead.

"You feel okay?" Junhoe asked cautiously.

"It look like I do?" Hanbin bit out before hanging his head with a sigh. "Sorry, I just feel shitty."

"Well, you did drink a lot." Jiwon agreed.

"My head hurts."

"I'll grab some water for you Hyung." Junhoe called over his shoulder as he raced away to the kitchen. "Hang tight for a moment."

Hanbin didn't even move in response and Jiwon stepped into the bathroom so he could slide how the wall and sit with Hanbin while they waited.

"What happened, baby? I've never seen you like that before." Hanbin shrugged but Jiwon refused to let the issue go. "Do you want to… to talk about what you said last night?"

"I don't really remember last night…"

"Well maybe start with why you drank so much?"

"Honestly, Hyung, I don't know why. I only wanted to have one." Hanbin sighed and let his head fall sideways onto Jiwon's shoulder as he talked. "When I realised you guys were out, I decided to have a drink and just relax until you got back - enjoy my day off and all."

"Why didn't you stop at the one then?"

"I don't know. I just grabbed something from the fridge - someone had left some cocktails in there, I think. Maybe it was stronger than normal or perhaps I have a low tolerance after so long, but I don't even remember getting halfway through the bottle. Everything is just a blurry mess from there."

Jiwon felt his blood run cold, the only cocktail they had in the apartment was the mix of fresh juice and moonshine DongHyuk had brought over the week previous - a mixture so toxic and foul they had all had one sip and then agreed to throw it out. If Hanbin had made his way through that and then, in his drunken state, moved on to their large collection of beers, it was a miracle they weren't in the hospital getting his stomach pumped.

"Fucking hell, Bin." Jiwon exclaimed. "No wonder you were out of it. That was DongHyuk's latest experiment; not a nice beverage to wind down the night with."

"That does explain it." Hanbin laughed tiredly. "It did taste a little… evil."

"No kidding."

They sat in silence once again, listening to the sounds of Junhoe rattling around in the kitchen. Hanbin turned into Jiwon's side a bit more and released a long; drawn out breath.

"What did I say that you wanted to talk about?"

"Don't worry about that now." Jiwon wrapped his arm around Hanbin's shoulders and pulled the younger against him. "Its something we should all talk about, but only when you're feeling better and we've all got some decent sleep."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Bin-a. It's probably better we deal with it anyway; it shouldn't be left to fester even if it isn't the way you really think."

"I love you." Hanbin spoke gently into Jiwon's shoulder.

"I love you too." Jiwon replied with a smile and kissed the top of Hanbin's head.

"I love you both more!" Junhoe yelled from the kitchen and both men slid down the tiled wall as they dissolved into a fit of giggles; the shouted confession warming their hearts and making them giddy with joy.

The echoing laughter floated through Jiwon's mind and set all of the tension and unease aside so he could just enjoy the feeling of being close with the others. It felt nice to know that, even with such a serious topic looming over their heads, they could still just exist together. It reaffirmed Jiwon's devotion to each of them and their relationship in a whole new way and Jiwon smiled.

They really did fit perfectly together. Woven together and so intricately simple in their design that they _had_ to be bound for life. The thought made Jiwon's heart swell and he threw his head back to rejoin the laughter, long and loud and _ happy._

_Perfect._


End file.
